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Welcome to the Kaneland Youth Basketball League (KYBL)

Welcome to the Kaneland Youth Basketball League. 

Elburn Basketball is now the "Kaneland Youth Basketball League"  The KYBL is designed to serve the youth basketball needs of the entire Kaneland Area; Sugar Grove, Elburn, Kaneville, Maple Park, Virgil and all the surrounding communites.  Check back here often and you'll be able to get news, information, schedules, rosters, game results, directions and much much more.  We are going to be making a lot of exciting changes, if you would like to be involved and contribute to the community...contact us...!

 

 

Parents Ruin Sports for Their Kids by Obsessing About Winning

A note...about losing 

For over 10 years I have spent countless hours researching, reading, watching videos and in general just obsessing over youth sports and how to make them better. (Just ask my family...or anyone that has discussed the topic with me)  

A while back I came across this article by Lisa Endlich Heffernan, she is a business writer and former vice-president at Goldman Sachs. She has an MBA from the MIT Sloan School of Management and worked as a trader at Goldman Sachs.

It  helped me better understand the learning process for athletics...I hope you get something out of it as well. 

John Marshall - President Kaneland Youth Basketball 

 

Parents Ruin Sports for Their Kids by Obsessing About Winning

Parents think they want success for their kids but in many ways they want if for themselves. Their kids, it turns out, want pizza.

By focusing too heavily on winning not only do we parents fail to focus on what is important, but far worse, we refute what is important. We lose sight of sports as a vehicle for learning and, instead, convert it into a means for parents to live out their own athletic dreams or take a gamble on the unlikely event that sports will pave a road into college. I would argue that athletic competitions offer one of the very best venues for learning some of life’s most important lessons. But these lessons don’t require victories, and in fact many, like some of the following, are best taught in defeat:

  • There is always someone better than you, at everything.
  • Those who enforce the rules can be mistaken or even biased and conditions under which you have to operate are often bad.
  • You can do your very best and still not succeed. This isn’t unfair, it just is.
  • People will cheat and you will lose because someone is not honest.
  • It is important, in fact essential, to continue trying hard long after success is no longer a possibility.
  • You must never let down those who have invested it you--teachers, coaches, parents and later bosses--even though your motivation has long since dissipated.
  • It is as important to learn how to be a gracious loser as it is to be a humble winner.
  • A team is about something much larger than any one person.
  • Individuals do not succeed, teams do.
  • Playing your role, whatever that role, is an honorable thing to do.
  • Intense physical activity is good for almost everything that ails us.
  • Kids feeling the endorphin-laced thrill of exertion will habituate into adopting a healthy lifestyle.
  • Sharing a goal is not the same as sharing success. The camaraderie of a team comes from the former not the latter.
  • One small mistake in an otherwise flawless performance can be the difference between winning and losing.
  • Practicing anything will make you better, more confident and, perhaps at some point, lead to success. But you practice to become better and more confident.
  • Outcome cannot be controlled, only processes and effort.
  • Failing to win is not failing. Teams improve, players improve and that is success. You can play a great game and someone else can just play better. Failing to win can just be bad luck.

Part of the reality of modern-day childhood is that the stakes for kids at every action seem so much higher than they were for their parents. Between the very permanent record created by social media and the Internet to the hyper competitive college process, kids have few places they can safely fail. Athletics is that place. The outcome of any given game is entirely meaningless and the playing field provides a place for kids to experience heated competition, losing, regrouping and beginning again, without consequence. As parents stand on the sidelines baying for conquest, they give weight to something that, realistically, has little meaning and removes this golden chance to learn from loss.

Wanting to win is human, it always feels better than losing. But our larger job as parents is not to teach our kids to do what feels best, but rather to equip them for life without us. We are charged with taking the long term view and teaching our children what is important rather than what is expedient. It is our job to teach them that they can only control their own effort, preparation and focus and not the outcome. And that is surely enough.

My son is no longer 10, and while he still loves the camaraderie of his teams, when he steps on the Court he wants to win. In the waning days of his high school career, though, I hope that above all else he has learned the values of perseverance and fair play. And that one of the best parts of any competition is still grabbing a pizza afterwards.

The full article available online at:

http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2013/10/parents-ruin-sports-for-their-kids-by-obsessing-about-winning/280442/


by posted 01/19/2018
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